test for national map

CLICK HERE FOR AN INTERACTIVE MAP OF ALL APPLESEED EVENTS

eBay Rolls out the Jump to Illogical Conclusions Mat

Even though I knew this was coming, it's still completely shameless...

Much media fanfare was raised about the fact that the psychotic perpetrator behind the Virginia Tech shootings bought a single .22 caliber magazine off of eBay. That's right. One magazine that can be bought anywhere. Not the gun. eBay wouldn't touch that. Just the magazine.

After a few months of intense study with their "Trust and Safety Policy Team", eBay has declared that they know how to stop violent madmen from killing people:

In mid-August, we will be updating our Firearms, Weapons and Knives Policy to place more restrictions around gun-related items. Once these changes take effect, we will prohibit listings of any firearm part that is required for the firing of a gun. This includes items like bullet tips, brass casings and shells, barrels, slides, cylinders, magazines, firing pins, trigger assemblies, etc. Please read the Firearms, Weapons and Knives Policy for more details on our current policy.

As you may know, eBay does not allow the listing of any items which are regulated by individual states or the federal government; however, there are still a large number of firearm-related parts that are legal and are widely available in retail stores. These items have also historically been allowed on eBay. After learning that some items purchased on eBay may have been used in the tragedy at Virginia Tech in April 2007, we felt that revisiting our policies was not only necessary, but the right thing to do. After much consideration, the Trust & Safety policy team – along with our executive leaders at eBay Inc. – have made the decision to further restrict more of these items than federal and state regulations require. This new update continues to encourage safety among our community members and brings our policies in the U.S. and Canada in closer alignment with our existing policies in other markets around the globe. Sincerely, Matt Halprin Vice President, Trust & Safety

How ludicrous. They say, "eBay does not allow the listing of any items which are regulated by individual states or the federal government;"

I say, "Bullshit." Do they still allow auctions for automobiles and auto parts? Last I checked, those are pretty heavily regulated by the government. They also are used in crime a lot more often than firearms are.

And what the hell is a "bullet tip"? Never heard of such an animal.

Anyway, as thousands of people are canceling their eBay and PayPal accounts due to this illogical policy decision, some clever people have decided to protest in creative ways.


(Links are provided, but I also took screenshots and pasted the descriptions below. Who knows how long these auctions will remain on their site.)

Bid with confidence!

For Sale: Assault Rock

Description:

In celebration of Ebay’s new firearm parts policy we proudly offer the ONLY genuine, fully automatic ASSAULT ROCK!!!! Get yours fast before Ebay decides you can’t-it seems guns have some legal standing in the Constitution of the United States (not on Ebay). Our crack team of right-wing lawyer wantabees are looking for rock protection as you read this-besides it keeps them from esoteric pursuits such as trying to figure out why liberals exist. These incredible tools started out as just lousy old Colorado granite; but have been transformed into works of art worthy of, and able to induce shock and awe!

Colors available:

Black-a most ominous color, great for swat (literally) work and they immediately strike (that’s what you got it for isn’t it?) fear into your foe’s heart while showing that you care enough to use the very best.

White, while it may look like you stole it from some old lady’s garden, is no less effective, is innocuous enough to look like a paper weight, and great for winter work, but we caution, repeated use may cause staining.

Camo-OF COURSE, why wouldn’t we-after all we are shamelessly promoting this. It is our most popular rock, and its ability to blend-in is legendary and various patterns are available upon request

Natural-while it seems shabby on our part to offer what would seem to be a plain old rock-hey the pet rock phenomena still amazes us. We felt it only proper, and in may cases it would be the best choice at being non-threatening and blending in with the environment-again, hey we want to be able to have some bogus claim to being “green.” We will send you a relatively clean rock with most of the dirt clods knocked off, postage being what it is.

The “designer” rock-custom colors, blends, and jewel be-studded upon request. Price dependant upon upgrades and jewels chosen.

All rocks are fully automatic, never need to be reloaded-as long as you can cock your arm, have a durable dollar store spray paint finish and come with a lifetime guarantee-if used for their intended purpose. Please note: most have minor natural defects that do not affect performance. Please be sure to order the proper size, the largest you can easily wield will be the most effective. It is not our fault if you bring “too much rock” and have difficulty recocking in the fully automatic mode. Remember too little rock usually results it necessity to go “Full Auto” to be effective, and this may be offensive to some passer-bys. We also caution against just going out and getting your own home grown or “reloaded rock” as these are not subject to the rigors of our process and may be easily subject to the penchant of the legal profession to file a suit claiming you are a crazed, right wing, rock loving, Neanderthal, republican, enviro-hating, SUV driving, carbon hogging, God-fearing, aberrant, pervert.

Calibers available:

Humongous-best left to the meanest SOB on the block or a front end loader

Large-for those that have some kind of complex

Medium-best choice for most, a little large to conceal, but will “git-er-done”

Small-best for pocket of purse, may require repeated cycles to be totally effective

Micro only for the well trained in the art of “rockette”-did it take a rocket scientist to know that?

Specifications:

Material – granite, we think

Finish-lousy aerosol paint

Country of origin USA, Colorado

Weight: varies, depends on what we can find and what you want

Color started out sort of reddish brown, maybe gray

Safeties-None-the darn thing is a ROCK! For crying out loud, what do you want and HK?

Please note: this item, due to its inherently dangerous nature, is not available to: at least the northern portion of the left coast and the land of fruit and nuts (Kalifornia and Ebay). In fact, we highly recommend that those areas IMMEDIATELY begin a program of regulating, stamping out, filing a manufacturer’s class action suit against God,( the original manufacturer), and rendering all non-military or law-enforcement controlled rocks un-useable and ineffective by super gluing them to something solid or crushing them to the size of salt grains. (Any larger and some fool might think to use them in a sling shot!!)

Please Note Again: We recommend against going “air-borne” with your rock unless you are a major league class pitcher or NFL class quarterback. Rocks out of control and personal retention may be easily turned against the original possessor-besides it just shows a lack of self-control.

HURRY!! Get yours soon, as far as we know there are only so many available, and no more are being made that are readily available, although some MAY be evolving (just had to use that word didn’t ya?)

Be sure to check out our other items-sticks, hammers, assault cars, fire-place pokers, screwdrivers, golf clubs, etc.

For Sale: eBay Firearms Sign

Description:

I have been an eBay member for over 10 years, having joined prior to April of 2007, long before the current crop of eBay Executives had even heard of eBay. At that time it was an open, free market but from the very beginning there were rules that prohibited selling illegal items. Everybody got along, and it was FUN to meet new people and buy from them or sell to them. Heck, more than once I have traveled to the eBay campus and participated in usability studies, trying to help eBay make their site better.

Then, suddenly, it became somehow wrong to sell firearms. The category was deleted and any auctions that cropped up in other categories were killed. Suddenly it became “illegal” on eBay to sell perfectly legal items in a perfectly legal manner, i.e. shipping to federally licensed firearms dealers for subsequent transfer. At about the same time as firearms were being banned the plethora of “patent medicines” started cropping up, everything from ointments that claimed to enlarge certain body parts to pills to make the enlargement last longer. Herbal remedies for everything, lack of sleep, loss of energy, you name it. All fraudulent, of course, but still being sold today.

I believe this was the first of many steps down the path of social engineering that eBay has chosen. Today they justify their recent clampdown with, “We have a Trust and Safety team which consists of more than 2,000 experts in online security and safety who are located around the globe.” But back then the Executive Team were at least honest and everyone knew that they were opposed to private ownership of firearms. Implying that their “online security” people have ANY firearms knowledge is like saying that a programmer knows how to run a business.

Further, their experts from “around the globe” are not relevant to America. I don’t really care what someone in Paris, or Lisbon, or London, Tokyo, or Cairo thinks about AMERICAN free enterprise. Just as I don’t care if they ban pork rinds in Saudi Arabia, eBay executives have no business listening to “global” input as it affects the US market.

Below is an exact quotation from the letter sent to me:

“We value an open and transparent marketplace; if items are legal to buy
and sell in an unrestricted manner we allow them on our site. However,
there are some items that while legal, may not be safe for our
marketplace. In these instances, our applicable policies go beyond the
law to ensure that our marketplace is safe.” (Emphasis mine.)

I would like to point out that the first and last sentence are obviously contradictory. You cannot value something, truly value it, and then not honor your own values. What this means is that eBay does NOT place any significant value on an open marketplace, they are simply giving it lip service.

I wonder what eBay does value. For example, do they value the educational fund that one store owner was building for his daughter by selling LEGAL parts? Do they care that they are taking that education from her?

Do they understand that one of the nations finest gunsmiths spent years designing and perfecting a firing pin that will SAVE LIVES by making rifles safer to fire and that he no longer has a “mass market” to sell his product? It is entirely likely that more people will die from “slam fires” that could have been prevented by the use of this improved firing pin. Does eBay care that because of their policy people might actually die?

I don’t know the answers to those questions, and quite honestly I wouldn’t believe any answer provided to me by an eBay executive.

There's always next year

Well, after a strong playoff push, it looks as if the Tribe are officially throwing in the towel.

Indians Sign Branyan

Chicago, IL (Sports Network) - The Cleveland Indians signed infielder Russell Branyan to a minor league contract on Tuesday and assigned him to Triple-A Buffalo.

Branyan started out the season with San Diego and appeared in 61 games, posting a measly .197 average with seven home runs and 19 RBI, but the team released him late in July.

He is a career .229 hitter and has amassed 118 homers, 293 RBI, 88 doubles and 253 runs in a 10-year career with Cleveland, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Tampa Bay, and San Diego.

The Tiarht Amendment

Don't know if you've seen anything about this.

The Tiarht Amendment has been a perfect example of how media outlets can put forth blatant lies about firearm issues and get away with it. Many, many newspapers wrote scathing editorials and articles about this piece of legislation. Despite all of that, the Amendment passed because legislators understood it to be common sense protection that was demanded by the people.


Background

The Tiarht Amendment was proposed to stop self-appointed nannies like NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and liberal anti-gun think tanks posing as university researchers from their latest attempt to rid our country of firearm ownership. Since gun bans and ammo regulations haven't been working for them the past few years, they've had to think outside the box for how to get around the Second Amendment. Their answer? Frivolous Civil Lawsuits!

These anti-gun zealots, who are NOT law enforcement officials, took it upon themselves to try and find out where guns used in crimes were originally sold. It's important to note that these original sales were completely legal... otherwise, laws already on the books would have been broken. But like I said, they had to create a convoluted work-around.

Bloomberg and his deceptive cronies were suing gun shops and original owners in civil court over crimes that involved handguns that were either legally sold five or six times after they left the shop or just plain stolen in home robberies and used illegally years later. Is this really about justice? Of course not. The original shops and owners did nothing wrong. This is only about litigating gun shops out of business by forcing them to pay costly legal fees. Mom and Pop shops can't compete with limitless funds from NYC tax coffers.

Imagine that you legally sold a car in 1997. That car has legally been bought and sold ten times since then and was unfortunately used in a bank robbery last week. Then you get sued. Sound about right?

Anyway, you'll read below a very typical rant about the Tiarht Amendment and my response that was published in the same paper. It's important to note that the Editorial staff of the Hamilton News Journal either was completely ignorant about this legislation, or they were purposely lying to their readers.

The Amendment in no way hinders criminal investigations like they claim. It merely ensures that private information can stay out of the hands of those that have no use for it except for abuse. It's also important to note in my rebuttal who is in support of the Tiarht Amendment. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (BATFE). You know that this has to be good legislation because there is certainly no love lost between firearm owners and the BATFE.


Hamilton News Journal Misleading Drivel:

Keeping Gun Data Secret is Criminal

There is nothing the National Rifle Association's lobbying arm won't say or do to protect manufacturers and dealers of guns recovered at crime scenes. In fact, it hasn't had to say much as red-meat Republicans and weak-kneed Democrats flock to aid its cynical cause.

Nothing illustrates this more than what has come to be known as the Tiahrt Amendment — and the shameless debate about it in the U.S. House of Representatives last week...

The amendment greatly restricts federal law enforcement agencies' ability to share information about guns recovered in criminal investigations. Before its passage, federal gun data had been used by researchers at top universities studying violent crime. It also shined an unflattering light on the gun industry...

When cities filed lawsuits against manufacturers and dealers, alleging they knew or should have known their guns were being used in criminal enterprises, the NRA swooped in...

The reality is that police chiefs across the nation (including in Cincinnati, Cleveland and Toledo) have been lobbying for reversal of the Tiahrt amendment. They dispute every point made by the NRA, and argue that gun data can be released in ways that protect lawful gun owners' privacy, prevent disclosure of sensitive law enforcement information and still render the data useful in reining in rogue gun dealers.

Local law enforcement agencies may use gun-trace data when related to specific cases under investigation. But they can't share the data with other agencies except in limited circumstances. And they can't look at the bigger picture so they can understand who's selling large quantities of weapons used to commit crimes.

The House debate last week was a charade. Politicians from both parties eagerly mouthed the NRA's talking points. Committee Chairman David Obey, D-Wisc., talked tough about advocates from both sides, suggesting that they act "like adults rather than thugs." Then he voted against opening up the data...

It was pathetic. The majority of members used a phoney case to curry favor and
avoid attack by the NRA. They put their political convenience ahead of public safety.

My Response:

Amendment Does Not Help Criminals

I am writing to correct many erroneous statements in the July 24 editorial opinion entitled "Keeping Gun Data Secret is Criminal" that discusses the Tiahrt Amendment for preservation of the privacy rights of law-abiding firearm owners that have not committed a crime.

Your editorial's opinion is that the U.S. House of Representatives "eagerly mouthed the NRA's talking points." That's difficult to substantiate, since many constituents, like myself, urged their representatives to support the Tiarht Amendment. This was a case of representatives listening to the people.

I also find it rather ironic that the editorial mentioned the phrase "talking points" at all since your piece did a fair job of merely repeating false anti-gun rhetoric in alleging that the amendment "greatly restricts federal law enforcement agencies' ability to share information about guns recovered in criminal investigations." This is not the case and is easily proven if one actually takes a few minutes to read the amendment.

The FY 2007 version of the Tiahrt Amendment ensures that trace data is available to federal, state and local agencies "in connection with and for use in a bona fide criminal investigation or prosecution" or for use in administrative actions by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives. That is a direct quote from the legislation.

Also, your editorial listed as many as three individual police chiefs in opposition to the Tiahrt Amendment. That is certainly interesting, but not as interesting as the fact that the Fraternal Order of Police, the world's largest organization of sworn law enforcement officers, join the BATFE in support of it.

I respect the preferences of those two collective groups more than a few rogue individuals. A strongly worded letter of support can be found on the FOP Web site.

The truth is that the Tiarht Amendment merely protects against witch hunts meant to seek out and harass law-abiding gun owners that have done nothing wrong. It does nothing to impede criminal investigations.

The FOP letter of support I referenced can be read HERE.

An editorial from the Toledo Blade with the same blatant lies can be read HERE.

Same story from the Columbus Dispatch can be read HERE.

Both of those newspapers chose not to print my response. Wouldn't want those pesky facts to get in the way of a misleading, biased rant.

Protection?

Hilarious:

The FairTax

I have been wanting to write up an articulate piece of persuasion about why the FairTax would be the greatest thing to happen to our beloved U.S. of A. You haven't seen it yet, because I've been waiting for a co-worker to read and return my copy of The FairTax Book so I can have a reference for specific statistics that are given and the excellent Question and Answer chapter near the end that dispels many criticisms lobbied against the proposal. I have a feeling that isn't going to happen any time soon and two people are in line to borrow it next, so I'm going to wing this. Bear with me.

I'd like to begin with a very brief nutshell overview that we can follow up with more detail regarding anything you want to discuss or for which you would like more clarification.

Here we go...


The 30 Second Pitch in Bite-Size Pieces:

Below are the fundamental aspects of the FairTax and surrounding issues that one must understand.

1) The FairTax replaces all other federal taxes with one consumption tax. No income tax. No Medicaire tax. No Social Security tax. Nothing. Only a consumption tax.

2) The FairTax will make it so that goods and services that you consume will only be taxed one time. Everything that you buy now includes embedded taxes. You paid sales tax on the monitor that you're using to read this. The Best Buy where you bought it paid tax when they bought it wholesale from the monitor depot. Both pay tax for their building, employees, and supplies. The shipper that transported the monitor to Best Buy pays tax on his truck, gasoline, and maintenance. The monitor manufacturer paid tax on the plastics and LCDs used during production. Etc, etc, etc. All of those taxes for the same product go away and are replaced by a one-time consumption FairTax.

3) Products will cost almost exactly the same with the FairTax as they do now. As producers will not have all of those embedded taxes to pass on to you, the market will lower the cost of products the amount of those embedded taxes (estimated to be 22%) and replace them with the FairTax (about 23%), keeping costs nearly identical.

4) The FairTax is revenue neutral. While the authors of the FairTax proposal and many politicians realize that federal spending is out of control, the FairTax does absolutely nothing to address this issue. The 23% figure was decided upon because it will generate the exact same amount of tax revenue that the federal government currently collects. Federal programs aren't going to receive one penny less.

5) The FairTax helps the "poor" and the "middle class". Many critics incorrectly say that "the poor can't afford a 23% sales tax." Obviously, they know nothing about the FairTax or are purposely trying to obfuscate the truth. Remember that everything a poor person buys will cost nearly the same as it does now. Now remember that the poor person doesn't have to pay any income or other federal tax. Every cent of their pay check is theirs in that regard. Now, on top of that, the FairTax plan calls for every American to receive a monthly prebate check that reimburses them for the tax that will be paid for their basic necessities - food, shelter, clothing, etc. This prebate check is determined by the federal poverty line for their situation. I don't recall the numbers, so let's just say that the poverty line for a single person is an annual income less than $15,000. That single person will receive a monthly prebate check for the FairTax that he would be paying for anything in that first $15,000. That means that he gets a check in the mail every month for:

23% x ($15,000 / 12 months) = $287.50

Let's say the poverty line for a family with four kids is $35,000. That means the family receives a monthly FairTax prebate check for:

23% x ($35,000 / 12 months) = $670.83

Let's add that up.

Items cost the same + keep all of your paycheck + receive a check in the mail = good for poor people.

6) The FairTax is not a partisan nor political proposition. It was not created by politicians. It was created by hundreds of the top economists and academicians after being asked, "If you could change America's tax code, what would you do?"


Why Do We Need the FairTax?

Good question.

1) It will attract hundreds of billions of dollars in new business to the U.S. It will solve our outsourcing woes. America will become the tax haven for the entire world. Instead of American companies moving to Mexico, corporations from around the globe will flock to our shores to set up shop here. Imagine the growth in the economy. Imagine the influx of new jobs and technologies. Studies have shown that the most deciding factor businesses currently consider when determining a strategy is not, "Will this make us the most profit?" It is not, "Is this a good product that will benefit mankind?" The most influential question to them is, "What will this do to our tax bracket?"

2) It will save Social Security and other failing government programs. Yes, you heard that right. It will save Social Security, will drive down our national debt, and it will fix what ails Washington. (Again, please excuse the following recollected numbers. I need to get my book back.) Expert economists estimate that there is somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 Billion dollars of taxes that should be collected from legal ventures that aren't due to outright criminal negligence or hiding behind complex loopholes inherent in our 60,000 pages of tax code that don't mean what they say. After the FairTax is passed, the rich will still buy mansions and yachts. Tax will be collected off of that like never before.

Also, expert economists take a complete stab in the air and estimate that America has something like a $400 Billion illegal black market. Obviously, it's tough to estimate that, but that's what they came up with. Drugs, prostitutes, illegal gun sales, mafia dealings... We know that Joe Gangbanger doesn't report his income and pay taxes when he sells crack. However, when he buys spinning rims for his Escalade or gold teeth for his grill, he is paying tax into the system for the very first time! All of this additional revenue will increase tax collections in ways that are unimaginable.

3) It abolishes the IRS and tax lobbyists. I'm not citing this to be vindictive. I can only imagine that tax collection and related legal services are a difficult and necessary profession at this time. I'm citing it because they are an enormous drain on our economy. (Again with numbers that I am trying to recollect), experts estimate that America pays three times as much to collect taxes than it receives in tax revenue! Talk about inefficiency! On a personal level, I think I'm a pretty smart guy and certainly don't have complex tax considerations. I'm not day-trading hundreds of stocks and am not running four corporations. Anyway, it's inexcusable that I have to pay someone to do my measly taxes every year. The FairTax commission hired ten different accountants to do taxes on an average representative American business. No two tax returns were alike! On top of that, they gave those returns to various IRS officials, and they could not agree which one was correct!

I'll just briefly say that tax lobbyists are the scourge of our political reality. That's how the majority of dealings get done in DC. The tax code is changed hundreds and hundreds of times on a regular basis depending on a lobbyist's dealings for his clients. Terrible.


What Are Critics Saying About the FairTax?

1) It hurts poor people. When you hear this, you know that the speaker knows nothing about the FairTax or is purposely lying to you. This is covered above.

2) Products will not lower in price and things will cost 23% more than they do now. The fact is that no one knowledgeable is worried about this. I know that sometimes people don't trust the free market to continue to do what it has always done: follow the laws of economics (not theories of economics). However, it's OK if some Americans want proof. The book cites several instances where tax burdens were lifted and prices dropped. For instance (and very recently), the federal government lifted taxes for airlines after they were hurt from the attack on 9/11 and no one was flying. For a couple of weeks, airline ticket prices remained the same and companies were collecting profits from that. Then, a smaller airline realized that they could undercut their larger competitors and lowered their prices. This gave them an advantage and all other airlines followed suit until everything leveled off so that the airlines were receiving the same profit that they were before (which is what the market would allow), plane tickets were lower, and more people started flying again due to it. This really does work, folks.

3) Politicians will increase the FairTax. It's very true that we run the risk of DC deciding at a later date to raise the FairTax to something higher than 23%. All I have to say to that is: "Do you think politicians aren't changing the tax code now?" Thousands of pages are added and deleted all the time so that nobody knows what is going on, let alone ordinary citizens having a clue. Everything is currently hidden from the public eye and there's not much we can do about it. However, if the feds only have one tax that they can change, we'll instantly hear about an increase from 23% to 28% and say, "Hey, what's going on? Why do you need more money? What are you spending it on now?" That's a favorable result in my book. Politicians will only want to alter it when absolutely necessary due to the visibility of it. That in itself will favor the status quo and keep the FairTax at a consistent value.

4) I will lose my mortgage interest tax deduction (or similar). These types of excuses are my absolute favorite and pop up all the time. It shows that too many people don't even have the most basic understanding of taxes. Answer: YOU'RE NOT PAYING INCOME TAXES FROM WHICH YOU CAN DEDUCT! Yes, smart guy, you're losing your mortgage deduction, that lets you skim a little bit off of the thousands and thousands of dollars you pay in tax every year. How about this alternative: Don't pay any of that tax in the first place!

5) This will never happen. The FairTax has been introduced in Congress each of the past eight years. It continually receives more and more support from the public and co-sponsors in Washington. It definitely will not happen from the efforts of most politicians. They want to keep it silent because they like having tax loopholes to appease business interests in their district and have trading chips for other politician's support on unrelated legislation. However, word is starting to get out to the American public and the more people that contact their Reps and tell them that they want the FairTax, the more headway we're going to see. For the first time, a Presidential candidate (Huckabee) spoke about the FairTax during his precious time in a debate. It's getting there and it's only growing stronger.

----------------------------------------------------------------

So, what did I screw up explaining? What do you want to discuss? What don't you like about the FairTax?

Be sure and visit FairTax.org for more detailed information. In fact, they probably answer many of my recollections that could be off, but I'm too lazy to go dig for them.

It's been decided

After careful deliberation (nearly 4 full games worth), I declare Daniel Gibson my favorite pro basketball player.

What Really Grinds My Gears - Part 6

You know what really grinds my gears?


People that tell me how old their kid is in months. I don't need, "He's 25 months." For the love of God, just say, "He's 2."

I declare at this very moment that I will never refer to my kid's age in months. Even if it means that I'm answering, "She's .33333333 years old."

And that, folks, is what really grinds my gears.

Giuliani on Gun Registration

In case you were wondering:

I must be good luck

I've watched all of the last three Cav playoff games... and they've all been W's. Go Cleveland!

Three very quick thoughts from a less-than-frequent NBA spectator:

1) 29 of the last 30 points?! That's fucking ridiculous! Is King James just trying to be nice to his teammates the first three quarters of every game?

2) I'm continually amazed by how only crybabies can play pro basketball. Every single play has at least two players whining to the refs with a fake grimace of disgust on their mugs. Usually, it's headed up by the player that flops while alone in the paint hoping to get a call or the defender that almost decapitates someone by hacking the shit out of them and then hold their hands straight up while looking around innocently. Even when there is no semblance of contact, someone still complains about something. This probably is more annoying to me than it would be to most because I compare all sports to the standards of MLB, good or bad. If a pitcher looks towards home plate for a split second or a hitter takes an extra half-moment pause outside the box after a questionable call, you know the ump is screwing him on the next pitch. I'm cool with that. That's how it should be. If I were king of the NBA (sorry Lebron), I'd issue a double secret technical foul to everyone that approached a ref hunched over with their arms held in a questioning posture. They would then have to drop their baggy shorts at half court while the shooter attempts his five free throws and the crowd laughs at the whiny-ass baby. For those that don't follow the NBA, that's a lot of pants dropping.

3) I don't know how many times I yelled, "Follow your shot!" at my TV. I'm certainly not up on my modern basketball fundamentals... have recent studies shown that following a jump shot hurts your chances of an offensive rebound now? Were all those middle school coaches wrong?

(But I did really enjoy the game. Can't wait for Game 6.)