I'm Not An Addict

What ever happened to K's Choice? What a rockin track that was...

Anyway, I've finally succumbed to my overwhelming need for coffee. I've been denying this fact for awhile, but it's no longer a "want to have". It's no longer a "should have". It's now fully in the camp of "need to have". If I'm up before 10:00 AM, you better not get between me and my morning fix.

While coffee is a stimulant that magically pulls the cotton out of my head and alcohol is a depressant that magically pulls the inhibitions out of my actions, I do see a few similarities:

You can build up a tolerance. I used to drink about half a cup and I was good. Now I need two before I feel awake.

I refuse to drink girly drinks. You won't see me drinking an Appletini at the bar and you won't see me drinking half-caf mocha cream peppermint latte at my desk. I don't even want to see any cream or sugar in the vicinity of my mug. I'm usually the first one in the office, which allows me to get the pot brewing. People used to complain that I make it too strong... but they've seen the light.

Too little is a bad thing. Since I refuse to drink girly drinks, my gin and tonics and coffee taste like ass to the uninitiated. I'm not drinking this to please my taste buds. Give me enough to get me drunk or alert.

Too much is a bad thing. Yesterday, I had my first case of the shakes since circa 2001. Back in the day it was from waking up in some uncomfortable position on my floor after a weekend college bender. This latest case was because I kept feeling drowsy and therefore drank about three times my normal intake of coffee. I tell you what, I got more work done in those few hours than any other time I can remember. If you looked at my desk right now, you'd think some meth freak spent the last 12 hours meticulously cleaning it.